Odds n' Ends

Well, this has been an interesting week!

I am putting forth much effort on our Ionia County Teen Leadership Group, and have been so blessed to work with some amazing adults and teens on the framework. There is nothing I would like more for Ionia than to grow many more great leaders to improve our community in powerful ways. The framework is developing, albeit slowly. It's all going to be so good at allowing me to practice patience. =)

I also went with my grandma to her sister's funeral. It was hard to watch my grandma grieve. She sat next to her last remaining sister and best friend, in the front row, just sobbing. That alone made me ache-y sad and cry. The thing is, as I attend more and more funerals for aunts and uncles and grandparents, my shared history with the living dwindles. It really pisses me off, quite frankly--and scares me. Both of my grandmas are there for me when I need them. My parents live 650 miles away. So, guess who stepped up to the plate these last 11 years? I have keys and files and wills and directives "just in case" something happens to them, and they deal with phone calls to babysit, birthday parties to attend and help at, and spur of the moment ventings, etc.

As I sat at the funeral, I was thinking about what I would need to do for grandma if she should pass away someday. She never held a job, doesn't speak to her only (spoiled) child, my dad, and hasn't been on any committees. Ever. She has never even had a driver's license or a high school diploma. Strange thing, though. She is everything to me. When we were kids, she played croquet and cards and taught us how to make anything out of plastic canvas. She always had candy and nuts and made EXCELLENT food. If we were there when Wheel of Fortune was on, she would make us popcorn---Orville Redenbacher out of the frying pan and we thought she was pure genius. She doesn't understand why I am so damn busy on every little committee, and quite frankly, neither do I (I just want to do everything before I die). I love that she swears--though the F word will get you kicked you out of her house. However, I am her favorite. I know this. She has told me in a variety of ways throughout the years. I used the F word as a teenager and she said nothing. I have too many points to narrow this down, but I am so proud of the women in my family. They are plain, relaxed (well, except me), enjoy hobbies with needles, and will all have 2nd page obituaries, but I love every bit of them-- imperfect, frank, and quiet as they are. I know I will physically only inherit a cardinal collection and other assorted knick-knacks, but their personal presence is the only thing I want at all...

Next, I must say how proud I am of Ionia, my hometown. Just a few observances this week: our teachers and administrators kicked-off the IPS campaign yesterday by contributing nearly $9500 for the United Way--in just one hour!!! That first day already raised nearly $1,000 more than we have ever contributed as a district. I am nearly speechless(but you all know that will never be true). I am so, so proud of our United Way and all of the citizens who contribute, volunteer, and advocate. It's become a very special goal of mine.

Today, I attended an inter-agency fair at the High School. Many of our organizations were there--the food network, United Way, CPS, ICMH, American Red Cross, Girl Scouts, Commission on Aging, Food for Hunger, Eightcap, Association for the Blind and Visually Impaired...it just goes on and on. I have a TON of paraphernelia and brochures. If you are reading this and you are wondering if "there's a place that can help with that" in Ionia, see me. What a powerful thing to have so much opportunity in our little town--rock on!!

You know my next post will be on school...which I can't wait for! When you have three kids and two teachers in your house, this time of the year is NUTSO!!!!! LOL!!

New Goal

I am writing a book, starting today. I have three ideas for novels, and the one that is finished first will win (I hope). I have NO mentor, no one to talk to about how to go about this, and no freakin' idea how it will turn it out. I have a lot of hope, and that's it. I haven't even ever been to NYC. Random House told me to start at Writer's Digest to get an agent, so in a few months, when I am ready, I will start with that. I love writing and I want to do more of it. Period.

This random blog of mine will now be where I update my progress towards a permanent spot on the Barnes & Noble shelf. If I don't announce it, I won't stay on track...so here it goes!

Writing Retreat on the USS Badger

This pic of Mike shows the hilarity of my day--he entered the "Badger Idol" and sang a sweet ditty to his wonderful wife Suzie! That's right--there's an Amish family, front and center, waiting for BINGO to begin again. LOL!

Pics: 1. This is the view of the bow from the Captain's Room.
2. I was thinking, "Uh-Oh..these people don't realize who they just let in charge of their ship!"
3. I got over my fear real quick and LOVED IT!
4. Self-pic on the starboard side...
5. View of the front of the Badger and the pile of coal in WI used to fuel it. The Badger is the only coal-powered ship in use in the U.S.
6. Neat piece of artwork...

On Thursday, I had the pleasure of driving to Ludington to board the USS Badger, meeting all new people, and ferrying to Wisconsin and back that day. What a nice, relaxing day! I wrote several pieces (mostly poems, but a couple of short stories and a "start", FYI) and couldn't believe my luck on a perfect, balmy summer day to sit on deck and watch the waves sway by...here's the coolest thing--our director was the wife of the captain. She secretly ushered us into the helm of the boat, way up high so we could have an even more astonishing view and learn about the inner-workings of the ship. I was just giddy the whole time! At the end of the discussion, he let me drive the ship! For those of you who can imagine, you need to understand the power of being at the helm of a 410' ship carrying two hundred vehicles and up to 620 passengers! Equal to that were the breathtaking 360 degree views of majestic Lake Michigan. As I was steering, the MI lakeshore came back into view. It was simply stunning.

Second to the experience of being captain, I fully relished the small amount of time in Manitowoc, WI. We ate at the courthouse pub, then pretty much rushed back to the boat, but there are so many neat art shops and unique locations there. I can't wait to go back one day.

Teachable Moment of the Day (x2)

#1 I slept in until 10:19 am. This is the only time I have slept in this summer. I then chose to not come downstairs until 2 pm. Don't get me wrong, I was doing stuff. I drank my coffee that my wonderful Paul brought up to me, and laid with the baby during his nap watching HGTV. The thing this taught me was that I need to do it again. =)

#2 After I got out and started weeding and fertilizing my lawn and flowers, Abby complained that she was bored, but no, she couldn't help me (naturally). I asked her to get on her bike and start practicing her riding. Now, she is a TOP student, dancer, and great at many, many things, but she is nearly 8 1/2 and can't (won't) ride her bike. I have been helping her for nearly 3 years...today I was tired of the cheering, polite prodding, and sensitive crap and told her to just get going. Actually, after about 45 min. of sweating, supporting her butt, and cajoling, I told her to learn how to do this thing or she couldn't go in the house tonight. I'm embarrassed to say that I said that, and I know it wouldn't have been something I carried through, but five minutes later........SHE RODE ALL THE WAY DOWN THE STREET AND BACK!!!!!!!!!! With absolutely no reservation, I screamed and whooped it up all the way out to her!!
Because I want to finish my yard tonight, I went back to weeding. Several minutes later, Abby walks over to me and stated, "Mom, sometimes you just have to stop cheering me on and kick my butt. Good job!"
I am so proud!
Now off to the backyard again. The weeds are waiting!

32?

It feels like nothin to me. Just like when I was 31. And 28. Another day onward. I have never understood the question, "How does it feel to be another year older?"
How do you answer that?? More importantly, why would you bother to ask it???

I read this book, Water for Elephants, the other day. It made me think about getting old. Not older, no, OLD. I quickly quit that--I already miss that giddy feeling of childhood.

I quite like 32. I feel better than I did at 22, and I can confidently discern between who and what I choose or not. That feels freeing, mostly. Raising kids is wonderful. Working towards goals fulfills me. I hope this year continues to be a positive one!

An Interesting Kind of Week

This week began in an unsettling kind of way (read previous post for a small slice of insight), and ended very differently.

I taught at SWC (at State) for the first time and just loved it. I was incredibly nervous to start, but was so blessed with 10 hardworking, dynamic students and it just got better from there. Pure joy was ever-present in our little group! My kids were from Clare and Williamston and Korea and Taiwan, Ionia, Grand Ledge, and more. We traveled all over campus, discovered much about bugs and flowers and ourselves, fed ducks, ate ice cream at the Dairy Store, and had so much fun! Oh, and we wrote and wrote and wrote and published ourselves. I really cherish that experience. It is my element.

When I got home from the last day of this week's camp, my sister and her family were at my house. I was expecting this, but I didn't expect was the total recalibration of me that occurred during this long weekend. We did nothing dramatic--chatted a whole lot, roasted marshmallows, made good food, and had a couple of small family/friend reunions. Yet, as I sit here tonight I have made a revelation. Through talking to my female relatives--grandmas, sister, nieces, etc.--I am owned. I live approx. 642 miles from my mother and sister and nieces. Much of that distance is closed through phone, facebook, and email, but physical proximity matters. You can't replace the energy created when two people are in a room, except when they are together.
Sitting, cooking, and chatting over "nothing at all" with so many relatives who have been there my whole life was COMFORT. I didn't worry about saying the right thing or being a role model or acceptance for four straight days. I like that. Very settling, indeed. I am going to take this weekend as a birthday present. It is of the very best kind!

Unsettled?

Over the summer, I have noticed something about me. I am not content to just sit and do "nothing" for long stretches of time. The good thing is, I have three little kids who rarely allow for that.

The challenge is, sometimes I feel like I can't complete something I love/need to do--read a book, sew covers for our downstairs benches, do crafts, organize the basement, paint my room, or write BECAUSE I need to attend to everyone else's needs. It is a lot like running in a hamster cage.

I am unsettled. There I said it.

Now I will go do something for myself.

PS. If anyone out there wants to do a writing marathon with me next week, let me know. I would like that very much. =)

The 4th of July

Last night, Paul and I went to the Daily Grill in Ada for the first time. For those of you that haven't been there, it is right next to the Mud Room and I recommend it for the quiet, peaceful ambiance and the outdoor deck that overlooks the Thornapple and the gardens they grow their produce in. We also watched the movie Away We Go. Unlike the Kid Rock concert we are about to go to, or the water balloon fight we are going to attend at Rosa Parks Circle today, the night was calm, quiet and reflective.
Because it is our anniversary, naturally I started thinking about our 11 years of marriage. We have been through some serious stuff. We have bought two houses, had three kids, had to put down our family dog, watched my parents move 650 miles away, completed a Flint internship, graduated from several things, lost our nephew, a dear friend and some grandparents. We have learned to endure and be patient (two long stints with bedrest and unpredictability...). We have settled into a little bit of a life rhythm too. The phrase, "it's always SOMETHING," sums up my life for sure!
While I certainly could not put on an internet blog all of the struggles and fun we have had together, it is certainly important to know that we have had A LOT of fun!! Simple things like taking the kids to somewhere none of us has been, and experiencing it together are my favorite. It doesn't have to be a pirate ship ride or an American Girl outing(though how incredible, right?). Watching Adam or Abby on stage, TV, or in our backyard usually just cracks me up! I laugh so hard at them--which is mostly why I am awful at posting pics/ writing down memories/etc.--I'm just having too much damn fun living it! Sweet little Charley is a whole other realm of interest. He is my little cling-on, so happy and carefree. It is insanely funny how parents treat "the baby". With the other 2, we would rub their backs in their bed and wait a minute for them to go back to bed. Charley has the innate ability to push Paul out of bed. At least once a week, Paul will wake up on the couch. No complaints, just the way it is....and if he wants ice cream at 7:30 am, I have been known to oblige without thinking. Moms don't have favorite kids, but I am not sure why the rules have been so lax with him...
My point is this. In the 17 years we have been together, there have been days that Paul pushes me to my breaking point. If you are reading this, you undoubtedly know about some of those times that he has taken on "turd" status in my eyes. Yet, it all works for us. We don't have it all together--you can't have two full time jobs, three kids, and two dogs and do that. But we try everyday. So, if you want to know how I am spending my anniversary...we are leaving the messy house for an afternoon and evening, participating in a community waterballoon fight, and watching the fireworks in GR. I am sure we will chalk up a sidewalk somewhere. Adam will be too loud. Abby will dance to the music, and cry at that Lee Greenwood song with me. I hope Charley sings "Halleluia" everytime a firework goes up (like he did in Ionia), and just like always, I will sit by Paul and quietly relish all that we have together.

Throwback to the 80's

I would be lying if I told you that the Ionia Skateland is exactly like it was in the '80's. Of course, it has changed since I was last there 20 years ago. Where the walls were orange, they are now purple. However, that is only the bottom 1/2 of the walls. The rest of the place is exactly the same. Same flooring even. This was such a wonderfully awesome surprise to me last weekend when Abby had her 8th birthday party there!!
Yes, the party was a good time. Everyone seemed happy either skating like an Olympian, standing on the wall monitoring, or klutzily tripping and falling everywhere. I, however, just skated a little like someone who's not that great, but never falling (my biggest surprise of the day)! For fleeting moments, I felt like a rock star once again.
Here's the thing--my wonderful, longtime friend Denise showed up from San Antonio with her son Zack. I couldn't resist rolling over on my skates and using her as a brake while I totally bear-hugged the poor woman. She is priceless, that gal. We used to walk up to the rink from SJL every year on the last day of school. The whole school would lace up and show off to the likes of Def Leppard, Poison, Cher, and others. We were all rock stars! You were at the pinnacle of "totally rad" if you won the dice game and went over and traded your ticket in for a "suicide"--a glass of equal parts of every kind of pop and a pickle (or Nerds, for variety). After sharing all of this with friends, you went out there and did it again. Skating was totally nerdy, and incredibly fun all at the same time. Everyone our age remembers the old "skating songs"...and it was fun to laugh with Denise at all the similarities that still exist at the old skating rink. =)
Afterward, we went to Paula's house (Denise's mom) for a little get-together. This made my day near perfect. We spent the whole night eating, eating more, playing cards, and drinking a little. For a Valentine's twist, we rode in Denise's 1980 Jeep Wrangler. In the snow. With no windows. No coats. All around the big country block! That kind of foolishness is the stuff I live for--laughing till the stomach stings, yelling crazy things out of the hole where the window should be, and dreaming crazy things up.
Denise is my favorite. I never feel like I have to clean my house, wear more than sweats, be a leader, or anything at all when I am with her. We have known each other our whole lives. Cheered together for years, played handbells in the balcony at church, gotten into trouble at Outdoor Ed., were married the same summer, had our two oldest at the same time, and complained and laughed and gotten into trouble and out, worshiped Kenny Chesney, the list goes on and on.
I love all of my friends so so much. I think that women in general are strong and smart and mysterious at times. The friends that stick by me when I am totally off base, frazzled, or just plain out there are the ones I think are truly the coolest. Denise has been there my whole life. There's no real medal for that, but there surely should be. I bitch too much, talk too much, preach too much, and tend to tell everyone everything I learn. Which I imagine makes for an especially long ride if you have been there for it--I have a Master's plus some more. I am far too serious at times, and completely carefree and goofy at others.
When I was younger, I took for granted that she would always be a car ride away. It really bums me out that she lives in San Antonio, TX. I have learned to adapt, and her occasional trip home (especially if I am around to visit) is fun...but I sometimes wonder, how many concerts, shopping trips, game nights, and joyrides have we missed?
Overall, it is so important to me that I have her. Whenever she's around, I feel completely at ease. My mind doesn't race to anywhere else, or worry. If I had a chance, I would choose to meet her in the next life (if there is such a thing) 100x over. I am not a perfect friend--but we have had a heck of a life so far. =) As I was skating that day, and she continued on to her mom's before me, that's all I could think of--she's the only one that has been there through it all!

Happy Birthday, Sister from another mother! You are wonderful.

Just Another Day in My House...

Tonight, while trying to sound sane talking to my mom on the phone, I was refereeing a dispute between my older two. They were "helping" me fold clothes for the first time and Adam wanted to talk the whole time and Abby wanted to work in silence. So they fought instead(way to go on picking your battles, my loves!). Baby Charley had a freezer pop that had a chunk fall out of the wrapper and onto the floor, so I asked him to go put it in the kitchen sink and tried to break the fight up as calmly as I could while telling my mother what Abby wanted for her birthday present....when I got back into the kitchen, much to my surprise (?), Charley had dumped the rest of the freezer pop onto the kitchen floor and was swimming in the sticky goodness while licking it up gleefully. The fight continued, the mom kept talking, and I just laughed my ass off at the oddity of it all! This is my life. I can't imagine that anyone has it better.
PS Where was Paul you might ask? Helping the neighbor bring in new bathroom cabinets (for the neighbor's house, not ours) through the 2 feet of snow...yet another site I saw as I laughed out the kitchen window while the baby licked the popsicle off the floor.

Whirlwind Weekend

In a house with three kids, two dogs, and two crazy adults, life is never as planned. Especially during flu season. Yesterday, I had the most wonderful time with my husband. On a whim, we went to GR to go for a walk in the downtown area. We skipped Rosa Parks Circle and decided to warm-up in Schuler's and this amazing Asian restaurant--I think it is called XO Asian Food. Anyway, I had a Soho Lychee Martini and loved it! It was an unexpected taste of summer, which was exactly what I needed in the middle of this never-ending MI winter. The food was delicious too. Paul had Thai and I had orange chicken with wonton soup. It is a wonderful treat to have nowhere to go and a little time to window shop and be silly--makes me feel like a college kid again.

Before our little date, Abby and Adam had their first soccer game of the season. I am not kidding you, there is nothing that makes me laugh as hard as watching Adam play a sport. The kid is freakin' hilarious!! He is out on the court standing there growling, twirling, giving me the thumbs up, and dancing while kids are moving up and down the floor, kicking the ball, and working to win. All while oblivious little Adam tries to put on a show. I just can't believe him. I nicknamed him "meatball" several weeks ago because that's what he asked me to call him (instead of my traditional "A-ball"). So I was yelling, "Kick the ball, meatball!" out to him the whole time. Cracks me up still! It's just the simple things--that kid is just like his dad! =) By the way, Abby was playing to win out there--she's all skinned up and out of breath and stuff. She doesn't mess around. I am the mom on the sideline chasing the baby (who only was happy if I hung him upside-down), yelling out to my meatball, and thankful that one of my kids was giving me a break--while the hubby casually chats to the guy sittting next to him.

So, last night Abby had a friend over and we were playing a game and have chocolate strawberries . It was a good time. Then Ab doubled over and writhed in pain from 9 pm until 9am. What a night! That there was no vomiting or other icky projection made me worry about appendicitis. So, I took her over to the hospital to have them check her out. Four hours and several tests later revealed that the girl was severely constipated, and may need further testing if nothing "moves". They gave her a disgustingly sour chemical to drink, and told her it would hurt her tummy quite a bit as things started to work. That would be an understatement. I want to take her back over there and have them watch her subside in pain. She's tough and always very healthy--this is the first time that she can remember being in the ER. It sure does make me nervous to watch. I love that girl.

I hope you all enjoy your week!!

Returning Back to ME

I don't make resolutions. Never have. I am the kind of person who is interested in just about everything. I crave new experiences and enjoy training my brain in new and different ways. I have done lots of things since I have had children--far too many to mention here--but the one thing I have not done is exercised regularly. In college, I would exercise several times a day just because I could...nearly nine years later I have just one regret. I wish I had kept it up.
Babies cry, growing butts don't. The immediacy of babies is a full-time job. I guess I just got lazy. Three children, two houses, and a master's degree later I am completely out of shape, but I am also not going to whine much about this. For the last two days, I have worked out. Today I ran a mile, and though this was at a snail's pace I am thrilled. I also rode the stationary bike for a time and walked around the gym floor to cool down. If there's anyone else out there who has let themselves go, it is ok. I got off the treadmill and my head kept swirling and my legs felt like jell-o, but I did not die.

Here's my motivation: my husband has wanted to run a marathon for several years, but hasn't started running once. He subscribes to Runner's World, and every time I pick it out of the mailbox, I laugh. This last week he decided he wanted to start running, but didn't. I know he would be so proud of himself if he did this for himself--we all would. He asked me, Mrs. Fred Flintstone Feet, to run with him. I don't know about a full marathon, but I am going to run just a little bit more every single day and I'll see where I end up in May.
Once I make up my mind to do something, I usually do it. This one will take every last morsel of motivation I have, but I know it will feel great to have done something for just me for once (ok, and a little bit for Paul)! So friends, strangers, and everyone else--feel free to ask me OFTEN if I have run today this year--it will keep me on track. =)

Hope in the New Year

Today I watched the President-elect barrel through part of the country in a train. This whistle-stop tour, with thousands of people looking on, reminded me once again of the state of our union.
For awhile, it has bothered me that we live in a culture nearly deplete of responsibility. Parents sign up five-year olds for Kindergarten expecting teachers to catch them up and be miracle workers. People neglect their bodies with food, drugs, alcohol, and excessive stress and then sue their doc when he doesn't wave a magic wand and heal them. Anxiety and depression are rampant, as well as other mental illnesses. Images constantly bombard us from every direction. Ten percent of the people who need one can not find a job. Soup kitchens are full and supplies are low. The stock market is slowly collapsing, homes are being foreclosed, and schools and communities trim the fat on an everyday basis. That is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.
When you add to that a winter that won't quit, some people might just want to throw in the towel ... India anyone? France?
As a wife and mother with three young kids, I am at this moment quite blessed. We are lucky to have a job, a home, a van, and extra comforts. As a citizen though, I am not quite sure how to define my responsibility boundaries. Really, I feel like it is my job to give back as much as I possibly can...tirelessly this year, actually, through charity work and with my time.
I am really looking forward to this week. I have enjoyed watching the country start to come together and have active hope. Barack Obama is not a saint, savior or god. He has limitations and will continue to make mistakes from time to time. But what he seems to uniquely possess is the ability to rally people together to accomplish something big. And then return the favor with praise through reminding us that we did it together. Hope is what I have for us as citizens. Hope that we can meld beautifully and work together to create a far more wonderful world. Because that is just what we need.
Tomorrow I am attending a baby shower for a friend who will have her first child this winter. The little girl that she will bring into this world has so much to look forward to--a great, loving family, a picture perfect nursery, and acres of wonderful earth to grow and explore with. She is lucky to be born into this historic era. She will be a part of the page we turn together--with lots of hope and well wishes on the way.